
It’s called fashion, sweetie, look it up.
Well, folks, it’s that time of year again where we at Lookout Landing go from analyzing the way baseball players hit, throw, and run on the diamond to analyzing their hits, throw ‘em aways, and oh-god-run-away outfits on the red carpet. We’re no Joan Rivers (we’re not even Melissa), but we (Kate and Shay) will do our best. That’s service journalism, folks.
Our Mariners best boys:


Photo by Jerritt Clark/Getty Images
Juliooooooooo broke out a brocade suit minus the suit jacket (fashion experts: is it still a suit if there’s no jacket but matching tops and bottoms?), paired with some Prada sunglasses and a brand new “44” chain, icier than a Dairy Queen. On anyone else this outfit might look like very expensive pajamas, but because Julio is Perfect, it looks great on him. (Also please note the top picture does Julio’s baby sister Ashley dirty, she was actually very smiley and angelic on the red carpet, floating in a perfect princess gown and flower crown, this picture just captures her at the wrong time. Here, I’ll add another one.) -Kate
The smirk. The swagger. The unironic-because-he’s-actually-pretty-peaceful peace sign. What makes me truly happy is knowing how much joy Julio must be feeling in these moments. Soak it in, big guy *cries* -Shay

This is pretty straightforward Ty France attire: a classic suit in a weather-friendly weight and color with a T-shirt that probably cost more than my car underneath. Ty is a Cali boy so he knew how to dress for the heat, and we love the subtle way his Ty-shirt matches with his wife Maggie’s dress. But wait, there was one tiny little wink and nod to Ty’s legendary sense of humor in this ensemble:

No tie, but a tiny France pin? Je l’aime. -Kate
Sure, he may be reppin’ France with his pin and his literal name, but this look screams an exaggerated Jersey accented man saying “Hey, Tony!” -Shay
Shirts? Who needs ‘em:
Starling Marte:

Starling Marte is simply living my dream of walking a red carpet with a deep-v cut suit showing off cleavage. Only problem is he doesn’t have any cleavage and I’ll never walk a red carpet. – Shay
Judging from what I saw on the red carpet today, the chest waxers of L.A. will end this week in a completely different tax bracket. Also, thoughts and prayers to that one brave little button. -Kate
Jazz Chisholm Jr.:

Photo by Daniel Shirey/MLB Photos via Getty Images
I firmly believe that Jazz and his +1 are the most Hollywood Red Carpet ready. After all, it is a prerequisite to have at least three (3) articles of shiny things on your outfit. -Shay
The picture doesn’t show it, but Jazz’s outfit is actually a shorts suit. “I like my legs,” he said on the red carpet. “I like them too!” said Sandy Alcantara, who between that and his “I cry at baseball!” interjection in the All Star Game package really shot up my player likability rankings this week. -Kate
Gregory Soto:

Photo by Jerritt Clark/Getty Images
Soto was on the “fuck shirts” bandwagon but got cold feet at the last minute and went with this wide-lapeled tuxedo jacket over a bare chest. Release the pecs, Gregory! Side note: Gregory Soto’s children are already orders of magnitude cooler than I’ll ever be and the one doesn’t even know how to talk yet. Maybe that’s the secret. -Kate
Gregory Soto is proof that once you become a parent, your children come first. It doesn’t matter if you forget to put on a shirt or socks. As long as the kids are dressed (to the nines), we’re gucci. -Shay
We’re called the Children of the Sun:
Tyler Anderson:

Photo by Daniel Shirey/MLB Photos via Getty Images
First of all, hi Tyler, we miss u.
Second, this is perhaps the most red carpet of all red carpet outfits and for that he wins 5 make-believe-internet points. -Shay
Justin Verlander:

Photo by Jerritt Clark/Getty Images
This was another theme we saw on the carpet: families dressing alike, many in yellows and golds, as a nod to Hollywood I guess? Cool, but also maybe the slightest cult-ish vibes. The Verlanders also worked this angle, although a little more subtly. -Kate
I present to you: Three Shades of a Pair of White Undies by the Verlanders. It’s performance art. -Shay
Julio’s Best Dressed winners: Ronald Acuña Jr. and Mookie Betts

Photo by Daniel Shirey/MLB Photos via Getty Images

Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports
Julio was forced by Aaron Judge, who clearly did not want the job, to name the best fit on the red carpet for MLB Network’s red carpet show. Being Julio, he of course couldn’t say anything mean about anyone, nor could he pick just one winner; he split his votes between Acuña and Mookie Betts, which we feel was the right decision. While a lot of the players showed up in borderline athleisure, Acuña, as the kids say, understood the assignment and broke out the sparkle. He also had some of the day’s best shades: Robocop, but make it fashion.
Mookie’s outfit paid homage to Dodger Blue which I like to think is just another way of twisting the knife against the penny-pinching Red Sox, but the real star was the hat, which was like if your grandpa’s lucky fishing hat did a summer at the Sorbonne. -Kate

And he also broke out a pretty fire shirt in BP, as well. -Kate
While I’m actually a huge fan of Mookie’s outfit, it gives me flashbacks to every time I left a pen in the wash. No amount of Tide-to-Go can save you now. -Shay
It’s a Family Affair
Freddie Freeman

Photo by Daniel Shirey/MLB Photos via Getty Images
Going to skip over Freddie and Chelsea for now to point out they’re those parents that dress their children exactly.the.same. Why stop at the kids? Next year I want to see the whole Freeman crew (even Chelsea) dressed identically. -Shay
Clayton Kershaw:

Photo by Jerritt Clark/Getty Images
I love this Kershaw family ensemble. No tiny tuxedos, no baby bling more expensive than a Tesla, no shoes that scream “Mommmmmm they hurtttttt.” Just kids wearing kids clothes. Just vibes. –Shay
On trend/on theme without trying too hard, with bonus points for letting the kids (obviously) pick out what they want to wear, but I need to have a conversation with Clayton about those pants because if not for his family propping him up he’d be perilously close to the “athleisure” category. -Kate
Byron Buxton:

Photo by Jerritt Clark/Getty Images
If you’re going to do the “how will people know we’re a family unless we dress identically?” thing, at least do it as cool as the Buxtons do. Look at the subtle teal pops on his wife Lindsey’s suit and the way it’s brought together by similarities in material and styling rather than just the color. Not a regular mom a cool mom dot gif. -Kate
It’s appropriate that the family color is robin egg blue because the Buxtons are robbin’ everyone’s eyeballs and forcing them to look upon this attractive- wait is that Amy Poehler? -Shay
Kyle Schwarber:

Photo by Jerritt Clark/Getty Images
Baby Schwarber has learned early on that if you wear sunglasses, no one can tell if you’re staring at them. Or sleeping. -Shay
Living a lifestyle of (ath)leisure:
Trea Turner:

Photo by Jerritt Clark/Getty Images
Look, while I understand everyone wants to be California Casual and not be uncool try-hards, one has to draw the line somewhere and I draw it at Trea Turner wearing drawstring pants on the red carpet. Sir, this is not a Wendy’s. -Kate
Trea Turner has fully embraced the California Cool fashion sense and has left his cut off jeans, nike polo, and flip flop roots back in his home state of Florida. -Shay
Alek Manoah:

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Alek, my man, I get it, you’re a big dude and comfort is key, but this is straight up a bathrobe with legs, you are wearing a bathrobe on the red carpet. -Kate
Like Kate said above, this is a bathrobe. But like, a sexy silk bathrobe that you buy when you start seeing someone new only to never wear it because that person has a strict rule about not staying overnight. -Shay
Manny Machado:

Photo by Daniel Shirey/MLB Photos via Getty Images
Okay, the one exception to this rule is Machado, who has spent years hoofing it on these ASG red carpets dressed to the nines and setting trends (Machado was the one who started the shirtlessness revolution so eagerly taken up by Jazz and Starling Marte this year). As a 30-year-old veteran of the red carpet, Manny gets to wear this full cashmere suit—the picture doesn’t exactly show it but it’s actually a very light, almost waffle-knit. Manny Machado is entering his coastal grandmother phase and we are here for it. -Kate
This outfit owns a hybrid, has a high credit score, and never forgets to say its “please” and “thank yous.” Basically, this outfit is everything I want to be. -Shay
This is how you do it.

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Shohei Ohtani and Babe Ruth have many things in common: both great pitchers, both great batters, both superstars in their respective times. But I can bet my ass and $2 that Babe Ruth never owned a suit that fits as well as Shohei’s does. -Shay
[Gritting teeth so hard you can hear it in space] Another…MVP award…for Ohtani. [Teeth fall out of head. Shohei appears to help me sweep them up.] –Kate
This is a couch. You are wearing a couch.
Willson and William Contreras:

Photo by Daniel Shirey/MLB Photos via Getty Images
Jose Trevino:

Rafael Devers and Xander Bogaerts:

Photo by Billie Weiss/Boston Red Sox/Getty Images
We’ve all experienced couches that look like these four outfits, whether it be at your Nana’s house, your friend who got their own place first’s apartment, or the dated Motel 6.5 you caved and stayed at on a cross-country trip. And now the MLB All-Star red carpet. -Shay
I appreciate Jose Trevino taking a big swing rather than the boring beigeness of the Red Sox duo—what, are they here to do the Red Carpet’s taxes?—but oh man, it’s just so much shiny all over the place, it looks like my eye makeup at the end of New Year’s. -Kate
Leftovers for dinner, but make it fashion
Joc Pederson:

Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports
Leftover night is when your dad looks in the fridge and sees an assortment of foods such as leftover dumplings, American chop suey, and chicken nuggets and thinks, “hmm, yes, I can make a meal out of this” when in fact he cannot make a meal out of this. Readers, this is the wardrobe equivalent. -Shay
I’m torn because I absolutely love what Joc does as far as marching to the beat of his own drummer in a league that can often feel stale and hostile to new ideas, but also, I have eyes, and this hurts them. This looks like the carpet in a bowling alley was given a loaner jacket at a restaurant with a dress code. It’s giving side character in a Kevin Smith movie, or Fred Flintstone giving a toast to the Grand Poobah of the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes. Champ, however, looks very chic. -Kate